The Fishbowl

Kevin recently told me a story about two preachers who went to visit a demon-possessed woman. This woman was holding a fishbowl in her hands; she was shaking so violently that she was causing the dust from the bottom of the bowl to cloud the water. She was exclaiming, "I CAN'T SEE MY FISH! I CAN'T SEE MY FISH!" The fishbowl was removed from her hands, and the demons cast out. The dust finally settled and the fish were revealed, albeit a bit shaken up. ;) The point of this story being that when your world is being shaken, it's very hard to see through the dust storm. Here is my dust storm:

In the past 4 months my life has seen some very dramatic changes, some good, some bad. I've lost three friends to sin and/or deception. I've had to kick someone I love and was mentoring out of my house, only to have them abandon faith altogether. I've gained a new roommate (whom I love). I've started a new job in a totally different career field (which I love). I stood up as the maid of honor and watched my best friend marry the man of her dreams. And I've struggled with this disappointing feeling of discouragement and disconnection, all the while wondering what in the world was wrong with me; wondering what I'd done wrong. Thanks to my recently rediscovered friend Kevin and my all-time best friend Jesus I've realized that sometimes my fishbowl will be shaken and all I have to do is step back, stand in silence and watch the dust settle.

The Truth

Here are some very wise words by a very wise man, Rev Wayne Huntley:

When prayers aren’t answered as you wish, don’t abandon your faith. Just simply trust Him. Faith will see miracles, but trust will carry you through when you can’t understand why faith didn’t work. Not always can faith deliver you from the den of lions, but it’s trust that will be able to keep you. Not always will faith deliver you from the valley of the shadow of death, but trust will carry you through the valley. It’s a confidence, or reliance, or resting of the mind on the integrity, friendship, or other sound principle (God does not lie) of another person or thing (Jesus). It’s impossible to have faith in God while not trusting Him completely. Therefore, faith becomes a preliminary step in establishing trust with God. Trust is a step beyond and a dimension deeper than faith. Many believe who cannot trust. Therefore, when their gain doesn’t produce the desired results, they despair. Trust stabilizes us and secures us when we don’t receive what we have asked and felt we have had faith for. Trust will sustain us through what faith doesn’t deliver us from. Faith expects things; trust accepts things. Faith produces change; trust submits to unchanged conditions. Faith reaches; trust retains. Faith rushes; trust waits. Trust is the ultimate relationship between man and God. Trust calms fears, eases tension, and allows us to walk confidently with God. It has no limitations, demands, or restrictions, and is worry’s treatment, fear’s cure, anxiety’s remedy and life’s healer.

The Work

my heart is overwhelmed when i think about what God has done in me over the past year. this time last year i was reeling over a breakup, depressed about my own academic failure, and spiritually numb, but that's where God began this new work in me... the last twelve months have taught me that the only way to be is submitted. anyone who knows me knows that i am about as strong willed as they come; God broke me to show me what it means to rely completely on Him. i didn't even realize what He was doing until i awoke one day and realized the absolute joy that was bubbling up inside of me and sustaining me. Lord, forgive my oblivion. what He did was show me that when i approach Him with utter humility, He can and will heal the wounds that would have so easily turned me bitter. finally after almost 11 years in this Truth i have found my center in Him. when you align yourself with the will of God, He'll work out your life for you! Matt 6:33

The Family

This is my family. No, not my entire family, but my church family. I love the people in this picture with all of my heart. I moved away for three years, and during that time my family acquired a few new faces.

My Ladies

I will start by giving some honor to the beautiful woman in the middle (yeah, the one laughing) That is Mrs. Vivian Kay Douglas, aka Mama Douglas. She is my Bishop's wife and I love her very dearly. Ever need a hug? Go to this woman right here! I think it is fitting to move on to my lovely Pastor's wife, (the other) Kristen Douglas . She's the beautiful lady to the right in the black shirt behind that handsome fellow in the blue t-shirt. This woman is so incredibly fun (and funny)! She's a great example of a strong, committed woman of God. Pastor is a blessed man! I will move onto my newer faces now. Sister Mandi Dixon... where do I begin? I'm so excited that you and your family have found New Life to be your home! Yall are doing great things with the Sunday School and I love teaching next to you! I also love laughing with you! Miss Jessica! Girl, you are sweet as sugar and you have an awesome sense of humor! I know that God is doing so very much in your life right now! You keep fightin the good fight! JASHYRA! Girl, you are so full of energy and passion for God! I know I always have a partner in crime (and prayer) when you're around. Last, but not least, Sister Dynamite- aka Monique- the reason why this picture was taken! NLT had the honor of having the Hannam family with us for a short while. I wish you all the best in Tennessee! Don't forget to keep us posted! (pictures of Malachi are a must!)

My Brothas

Bishop and Pastor- You are both invaluable to me! Your wisdom, guidance, and anointing are pillars in my life. Thank you for being such tremendous examples of true Christian men! Nathanael Joseph Lyons- You, my friend, are so incredible! Your consistency and holiness are so encouraging. I can honestly say that I adore you, brother. Thanks for being my vault. To my bodyguards, Eric and Doyal- I always know that I am in for a good time with the two of you around. Thanks for being my rocks (and my entertainment) I love you both so much! Daniel, Daniel, Daniel- I would never have known that the annoying "little boy" who used to smack me and run away would be the guy I respect today. I am so glad that I am able to work with you in Sunday School. I look forward to what God's going to do in that class! To those new faces, Marcus and Nico- I've only known yall for a short while, but I've come to respect you both. I am so encouraged to see how quickly God has moved on both of you. Thank you for being so willing to surrender to God's molding. I love you both!

The Loser

i suck at school

please don't let me suck at life