The Wedding

i shot a wedding with dad.

i edited photos for hours.

i got $125 - shudda been more.

at what point are people no longer lonely? does loneliness ever truly go away, or is it hiding? does the presence of someone else make you forget so entirely about yourself that you can become stalled in your state of incompleteness simply because you have someone else to study? why do i feel so all alone when i know He's always there. who am i to say that there is no one to talk to, when all He wants me to do is talk to Him? will You forgive me, Lord?

I LOVE YOU, JESUS! i don't care about being labeled, "Jesus freak," or other such foolishness! You made me whole! i am proud to call you my friend, my lord, and my God!

The Word

For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart. -Hebrews 4:12, Amplified Bible 

The Word of God to me:

Fear not; I am with thee

Put all of your hope in me, and I will not lead you astray

I know the desires of your heart - take comfort in this

You will hold up his hands and he will not grow weary

You are stronger than you will ever know

You, my dear, are a warrior

The Hill

sigh... back to life in chapel thrill. i longed for it so. my new place is infinitely better than last year. thank God for good roommates. so, pat is going to kill me. i feel that perpetual lump in my throat. the lump that tells me i am not good enough. shut up, lump. i am a rockstar and i can do the dang thing. 

The Rain

"open the floodgates of heaven. let it rain. let it rain ... i feel the rain"

this has been the most amazing summer, spiritually speaking. i have been in this thing for a long time, and i am finally starting to get it! i mean, i've known what i believe and why i believe it, but my relationship has reached new levels. i feel such a renewed sense of purpose and intimacy with Him. i do not deserve to have the honor and privilege to be so close to the King of kings... WHO AM I? His child, that's who. in the truest utterance of the phrase, "OH MY GOD!" thank you so, so much Jesus.

i can never begin to thank Him enough. i thought about that tonight (a very rainy night). trying to thank Him would be like trying to gather all of the rain. no, not even that would do it... He is, in a word: unfathomable.

The Adults

i once saw a quote that said, "when did we become adults... and how do me make it stop?" my three best friends from childhood have all had children. *enter twilight zone theme music here* beautiful children, i might add.
i spent the evening with my friend rebekah and her sons hunter and logan. i really loved her kids. it was weird... after they went to bed, i found myself wanting to get to know them better... it was like i missed them. sweet.
this is logan, by the way. he's 3 months.... tiny.