The Wedding

i shot a wedding with dad.

i edited photos for hours.

i got $125 - shudda been more.

at what point are people no longer lonely? does loneliness ever truly go away, or is it hiding? does the presence of someone else make you forget so entirely about yourself that you can become stalled in your state of incompleteness simply because you have someone else to study? why do i feel so all alone when i know He's always there. who am i to say that there is no one to talk to, when all He wants me to do is talk to Him? will You forgive me, Lord?

I LOVE YOU, JESUS! i don't care about being labeled, "Jesus freak," or other such foolishness! You made me whole! i am proud to call you my friend, my lord, and my God!

The Word

For the Word that God speaks is alive and full of power [making it active, operative, energizing, and effective]; it is sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrating to the dividing line of the breath of life (soul) and [the immortal] spirit, and of joints and marrow [of the deepest parts of our nature], exposing and sifting and analyzing and judging the very thoughts and purposes of the heart. -Hebrews 4:12, Amplified Bible 

The Word of God to me:

Fear not; I am with thee

Put all of your hope in me, and I will not lead you astray

I know the desires of your heart - take comfort in this

You will hold up his hands and he will not grow weary

You are stronger than you will ever know

You, my dear, are a warrior

The Hill

sigh... back to life in chapel thrill. i longed for it so. my new place is infinitely better than last year. thank God for good roommates. so, pat is going to kill me. i feel that perpetual lump in my throat. the lump that tells me i am not good enough. shut up, lump. i am a rockstar and i can do the dang thing. 

The Rain

"open the floodgates of heaven. let it rain. let it rain ... i feel the rain"

this has been the most amazing summer, spiritually speaking. i have been in this thing for a long time, and i am finally starting to get it! i mean, i've known what i believe and why i believe it, but my relationship has reached new levels. i feel such a renewed sense of purpose and intimacy with Him. i do not deserve to have the honor and privilege to be so close to the King of kings... WHO AM I? His child, that's who. in the truest utterance of the phrase, "OH MY GOD!" thank you so, so much Jesus.

i can never begin to thank Him enough. i thought about that tonight (a very rainy night). trying to thank Him would be like trying to gather all of the rain. no, not even that would do it... He is, in a word: unfathomable.

The Adults

i once saw a quote that said, "when did we become adults... and how do me make it stop?" my three best friends from childhood have all had children. *enter twilight zone theme music here* beautiful children, i might add.
i spent the evening with my friend rebekah and her sons hunter and logan. i really loved her kids. it was weird... after they went to bed, i found myself wanting to get to know them better... it was like i missed them. sweet.
this is logan, by the way. he's 3 months.... tiny.

The Provider

money isn't an issue for those who have it. well in most cases, at least... but that's a story for a couch somewhere. my point is that money is more elusive than the one leaf in the lake that you just can't seem to scoop up in your hand. it's like that bar of soap on the shower floor (prison jokes aside). it's that invisible brick wall holding you back.

God is my supplier. my Jehovah Jireh. these things i know. i know that He has never let me down, nor is He capable of doing such. i get by and my bills get paid... but i'm so behind. God is not to blame. i am. i am the one who lives beyond my means. i am the one that likes to go out to eat with friends. Lord forgive me - help me to be better. help me to give all to You and trust that You can make the little i have stretch. You are the One who only needs five loaves and two fish to feed thousands. i have a five loaf and two fish budget. work Your wonders, please. AMEN

so yeah... didn't know that this would turn out this way, but thank You Jesus.

The Leader

sharon blinsinger: wife, mother, girl scout troop leader and friend. my leader. my friend. in february she lost her battle with cancer, leaving behind her husband rick; two daughters, necole and natasha; her son jason; and her grandson jaxon. friday night was an emotional time for rick and natasha - a girl scout reunion cruise. i pray that God can and has used me to be a comfort during this dark time in my oldest friend's life. i love you, natasha. and i miss you, sharon. 

The Catalyst

the symptoms started three years ago... i knew abbie had an ailment, yet i stayed close. with a smile on her face, she handed me my passion, in the form of a 4 megapixel point and shoot. since then, my infirmity has gotten much worse: an EOS 30D!  i owe my infection to you: thank you, abbie. thanks for being there at 9:30 p.m. to drop everything because i need a shooting partner. i shall never forget that i have you to blame for my pestilence. 

The Neighbors

the moon is full and it called my name, or rather, my camera's name. i went to the front yard, tripod in hand, to find a perfect vantage point for my camera. tripod down, exposure set, click. man gets out of car at neighbor's, goes inside, slam. click. woman comes out: "ARE YOU TAKING A PICTURE OF MY HOUSE!?!" my mind: "why would i be taking a picture of your house, stupid?! even if i were, you can't do a thing about it." me: "i'm taking a picture of the moon." woman steps off porch, looks up, sees the moon, slam. gotta love crazy neighbors.

The Alpha

as a new blogger, i wish to state that i am learning as i go along. i made this decision while looking through the countless photos i have saved on my Mac - photos that no eye has seen outside of my eye. photos are made for communication; i am a communicator.